Excuse me, but I'm a WHAT?
by Phoenix's death
Summary: Dib is a what? Approached by this wierdo in a mask, he could only question both of their sanity. Rated t cuz I'm paranoid. And a bit weird.
1. Chapter 1

A pair of eyelids slowly open, revealing brown orbs. Dib membrane sat up, holding his head. Rubbing at his eyes, he glanced at the clock.

"Wow, it's 12:00 already?" Dib slid out of bed, the sheets pooling around his waist. Standing up, he walked to his closet and pulled out a plain blue shirt. Slipping it over his head, he began to move towards the door. Walking down the stairs, he waited for an insult to be thrown at him. Hearing nothing, he stuck his head into the kitchen.

"Huh, no Gaz... Wonder where she went... Ah, who am I kidding, she can take care of herself. I really need to stop talking to myself." Dib walked to the cabinets and pulled a bowl and spoon out. He retrieved the cereal and milk, and ate his cereal in peace. Still feeling a bit hungry, he poured another bowl. When he could still feel the hunger biting at him, he thought to himself, '_What's wrong? Why have I been feeling so empty lately? Huh. I'm actually thinking quietly for once.'_ He dismissed it as growth hormones after a moment of thinking. Retreating to his room, he decided to try out a different outfit. Reaching to the very back of his closet, he pulled a trunk out of its dark and mysterious depths.

When he opened the chest, he was happy to see that the clothes he had bought, but never worn, were the same size as the ones he wore now. The first thing he pulled out, was a trench coat. The coat's sleeved were covered in buckles, a pair of knee-high boots came next. The boots had three zippers that would allow adjustment for a smaller size. He pulled out a short next. The shirt was for one of his favored bands, my chemical romance.

Changing out of his current state of dress, he pulled on his normal pants, pulled on the shirt and coat, before spending 5 minutes lacing up the boots. Before he left the house, he admired himself in the mirror. Stepping out of the house, he began walking down the street towards his skool. People were giving him weird looks, well, wierder than normal. He paid them no attention, as usual.

When he arrives at the skool, he just walked right to his teacher's classroom. Ms. Bitters immediately pounced.

"So Dib, I see you've finally decided to grace us with your presence. What is your excuse this time? Vampires, aliens (the class snickers), yeti, sasqua-" Ms. Bitters was cut off by dib.

"Actually, I slept in." The look on all of their faces was very satisfying. They were very shocked. All of his excuses before had been blaming something supernatural, but this was a bit too normal, even by their standards.

"If you'll excuse me, i need to sit down" Dib moved towards his desk, before flopping down of the seat. Ms. Bitters growled, but continued her speech about how they were all doomed. And for the rest of skool, that was that.


	2. Chapter 2

Dib was walking home from skool when he was attacked by a certain green alien.

"Dib-thing! You did not attack me or call me an alien all day! VICTORY! VICTORY FOR ZIIIIIM!" Dib pushed him away before he noticed that the shadows appeared to follow him.

"It must be gaz" he muttered, before walking a bit faster.

"Dib-stink? What must be the Gaz-human?";A shadow that seemed darker than the rest broke off. It began to grow, taking on the form of a cloaked figure. Dib cursed.

" Crap... It's not Gaz..." Dib grabbed Zim, breaking into a run and dragging the poor alien behind him.

"RELEASE THE MIGHTY ZIIIIIIM!" Dib grimaced at the piercing shriek.

"Shut up Zim! Pay attention to what's going on around you!" Zim quieted down, speechless at the hyuman's outburst. Glancing in the direction he was being pulled from, he saw a tall, black form, seemingly with no legs. A white mask was worn.

"Hey, wait up!" A sqeaky voice came from the form. Dib kept on moving.

"I need to talk to you!" Zim sqeaked when he saw a shadow reach out, and grab the dib-beast's leg. He expected to fall onto the dib, but was surprised when he hit the hard ground. The shadow-y person aproached a little bit slower.

"Stay away from the mighty ZIIIIIM!" He yelled. Trying to keep up his cover, he felt around for something to use as a weapon. His hand closed on a metal handle. Pulling the item closer, he pulled into a defensive position. When he looked down, he saw that he was holding an elaborate sword. The blade was black, and the handle was blue with a crazy emoticon.

"Ooooh, a weapon AND a Meister!" The sqeaky voice said.

"**What do you mean a weapon and a Meister?**" Dib asked. Zim jumped. He looked around before realizing that someone was missing.

"Dib-beast where are you?"

"**What do you mean zim? I'm right here.**"

"But that's just it! You aren't!"


	3. Chapter 3

Dib couldn't believe what Zim had said.

"**What do you mean I'm not there? Although... That would make sense... It does seem like it's darker than normal...**" The tall figure cleared its throat.

"Allow me to explain. I am Lord Death. You are a weapon, Dib was it? A weapon can only be wielded by those that share the same wavelength of their soul"

"**But that's impossible! Humans can't turn into weapons! Okay... Maybe they can, but still... I really need to stop talking to myself."**

"And you, Zim, are his Meister. No one else except for the Meister Dr. Stein, will be able to wield him. I would like for you to come with me to the DWMA, Death Weapon Meister Acadamy. There you will learn to work together and kill our enemy, the kishin, and destroy those who will become kishin. Oh yeah! Almost forgot. Dib, concentrate on becoming human, you should turn back." The sword in aims hand shifted and turned black before warping out of his hand and forming a distinctive human shape. The blackness burst to millions of shards, leaving Dib in its place.

"Woah... " Dib stared at his body for a second before glancing at Zim. He was not prepared for the yelling.

"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE! ZIM DEMANDS TO KNOW!" Dib and Death winced. Death raised his hands in a calming manner.

"Come with me to the academy, all will be explained there." Dib and Zim glanced at each other. They sighed.

"We will come with you... But how will we get there?" Death clapped his hands together, Dib jumped at the hands appearing from nowhere.

"Excellent! And as for transporation..." Lord Death grabbed the two males. Dib and Zim could no longer see and felt nauseous, cold, and like they were dying. The next moment, they were on front of a tall castle-like structure.

"Welcome, to the DWMA."

* * *

I apologize if any of the character are ooc... Also, I don't know how long this story will last. I'm kind of making it up as I go along. So if anyone has any ideas, they would be appreciated.


End file.
